Yes folks, here it is...my very first entry! Yea!
*Applause, applause*
The other day, I was doing some "spring cleaning" with a twist. No, not the dance, but with another twist. What is the twist you ask? Well for one, I was doing the cleaning in the winter. Secondly, I was cleaning out my e-mail ( I would have cleaned my house, but that was too intimidating at that particular time. Yes, it was THAT kind of a day ) :- P
Anyway, I have a cousin (my favorite one) who is in the Air Force. He sent this to me quite some time ago and I thought you guys would enjoy it. Yes, cwilli and skywalker, I know you guys are Marines (and we love you for it ) but I thought you two would like it just the same...enjoy :- )
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US
Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave
for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight.
(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION
(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire
(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough,
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft
(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid,
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal
seepage
(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level
(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order
(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground
(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they're there for
(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search
(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious
(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words
haha, nice one baby.
Posted by: muddy at January 6, 2004 08:17 PMHahaha! I've see some of these before! Here's a couple from Hueys and Cobras:
(P) VSS not operating
(S) VSS not engaged
(vss is a vibration supression system in cobras to make it easier to shoot, pilots like to turn it on to make their ride more comfortable and thereby make it more prone to failure. They also like to say it's failing when they turn it off.)
(P) Aircraft missing doors.
(S) Crew Chief and Aerial Observer require door removal to shoot at the bad guys.
(Hueys have removable doors)
Posted by: skywalker at January 6, 2004 08:20 PM