March 13, 2004

Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

What with elections coming up, we should all decide.

Question?

How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

Now look closely.

Answer: Consider the following situation...

Your walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises a machete, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

------------------------------------------------------------

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that is not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or Oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 911?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and clean day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

---------------------------------------

Republican's Answer :

BANG!

--------------------------------------

Southern Republican's Answer :

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click....(sounds of reloading).


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those Full Metal Jacket or Hallow Point?"

Posted by Muddy at March 13, 2004 02:01 PM | TrackBack



Comments

omg!, I was dying laughing at this. It was a must post.

Posted by: muddy at March 13, 2004 02:06 PM

LMAO!

That is too funny.

Posted by: cwilli at March 13, 2004 05:58 PM

To suggest that a liberal would ask all those questions in that situation is very funny, and I agree with all of you that it is funny. But once again, you are providing divisive material which perpetuates the mythological two party system.

*edited/off topic*

Posted by: Critical.Hypocrite at March 13, 2004 06:00 PM

RBAFLMAO!!!!!!

(Rocking Back and Forth...LMAO)

Depending on my mood, that would make me either a Republican or (if I were pissed off at the world already) Southern rep. :-D

Posted by: mrs. muddy at March 13, 2004 09:23 PM

"But once again, you are providing divisive material which perpetuates the mythological two party system."

Bamboozled is that you?

Sorry dude...sounds pretty accurate to me :-)

Posted by: mrs. muddy at March 13, 2004 09:27 PM

How is this off topic:

What would Jesus think about all those BANGs?

How about this question:

How is that related to foreign policy?

Were similar examples used during the Wars on: Indians, Niggers, Japs, Mexicans, Communists, and Gooks? I mean, because they could all be this assailant. In fact, how did we all picture the assailant to look like?

I pictured a black guy, mad as hell with sunglasses and a hood.

Did anyone picture Pope Pius XII -
http://free.freespeech.org/americanstateterrorism/bibliographies/VaticanNazis.html

or this one may be more fair and balanced:

http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&edition=us&q=pope+pius+xii&btnG=Search+News

Here's a question: After the assailant is shot dead, do we find out the man makes a substantial profit from the killing?

What if the assailant had a weapon sold by the man himself, for a profit, and then using that profit to arm the assailant's hoodlum street nigger enemies? What if they never found a gun? What if the wife and kids say they were never even with their dad? Oh, wait, yeah they were, they just forgot, but the liberal media didn't print that.

I know I am very very juvenile, that is why my nephews call me "an kid adult,” so I am qualified to suggest such a hypothetical situation is a poor argument based on childish speculation.

But I welcome anyone to tell me otherwise.

It's interesting that you posed the: Should I call 911. Not only for the historical relevance of that number, and not because it is my nephews birthday, but because it'd be interesting to read studies on the efficacy of 911 and compare it among neighborhoods based on economical variables.

What do you think we might find?

These lazy niggers just might not be dialing fast enough.

What is your opinion of how the response to this joke may differ among Right Wing Christian Conservatives, Liberal Wimp Tree Huggers, and let'ssss say.....Jesus?

Posted by: Critical.Hypocrite at March 14, 2004 02:07 AM

Critical.Hypocrite/BamBOOzLed:

"How is that related to foreign policy?"

It's not. It was a JOKE. Remember those? Dude....relax....just sit back - let the questions go (just for *one* comment) and enjoy the humor.

"I pictured a black guy, mad as hell with sunglasses and a hood."

Really? I didn't. *I* pictured a crazed mountain man with a long, matted beard man who was never introduced to proper oral hygiene.

You pictured a black guy, huh? Funny. Guess that's a personal problem you'll have to deal with.

"Here's a question: After the assailant is shot dead, do we find out the man makes a substantial profit from the killing?"

Maybe, maybe not.....but I would *definately* take lessons from him at the firing range. (by the way, that was a joke too - well, a "half joke" anyway).

"I know I am very very juvenile..."

Well, admitting to it *is* half the battle.

Posted by: mrs. muddy at March 14, 2004 08:51 AM

EXACTLY, Bravo!

Posted by: Critical.Hypocrite at March 14, 2004 11:57 AM

Who cares? I guess I dont understand why you waste your time with this. Wouldnt your time be better spent with your family or kids or friends? I think you need a way to exert your energy kinda like when my dog needs to go to obedience class.

Posted by: marsha at March 14, 2004 12:13 PM

marsha:

Ok....bamboozled, is this truely your girlfriend or are you just changing your name again? :-)

"I guess I dont understand why you waste your time with this."

You mean with this website or with our responding to one another with this particular article? If YOU don't understand why we waste our time with "this" then.....Why did YOU bother to stop by?

Doesn't that make *you* the hypocrite instead?

Me thinks Bamboozled/Critical.Hypocrite is going to have to forfit his crown.

"Wouldnt your time be better spent with your family or kids or friends?"

Oh....now, don't you worry about me none :-) I spend *plenty* of quality time with my family, however, I appreciate your concern.

Posted by: mrs. muddy at March 14, 2004 12:31 PM

Who's creating - Who's destroying jobs ?
Have a look at the figures.

http://americanassembler.com/issues/economy/job_stats.html

And remember.

After the Iraqi desillusion, get ready for the great bear market ... Or how deflation will bring real change and the demise of your "ideas".

Posted by: DF at March 15, 2004 12:19 PM

Wooopy

Thanks Muddy for your message on the front page.


Greetings to all my friends in the USA, bamboozled I don't know you but I like your ideas, May peace be upon you all.

In the crisis that will come we will need to love us more.

Posted by: DF at March 16, 2004 05:46 AM

DF: An stats on job creation are somewhat moot right now because there are some indications that people are continuing to look for work while trying their hand at starting their own business. I did this once. Actually worked out well for me except that it did not mix well with school. In fact, I made more money in a day when i ran my own business than I did in a month with my previous jobs.

I sincerely doubt that Iraq could impact the market anymore. And frankly, our economy really isn't doing that bad! It's not spectacular, but it isn't bad.

Deflation isn't going to change my ideas. I'm not an economist, I don't have ideas on the economy. However, deflation (from what economists tell me) tells me to expect skyrocketting unemployment and lower wages. However, an economist has recently tld me that currently, in the US economic conditions are somewhat backward, so they are currently studying that to find the causes and potential effects.

Posted by: skywalker at March 16, 2004 08:50 AM

deflation can also mean 10 years of sluggish growth as in Japan.

Basically the problem is : there is too much debt.
Reason : assets have sky rocketed while interest rates were low , wages stable and inequalities on the way up ...
many rich people had lots of money to invest and lend ...


That means instead of spending because they made more money people have spent because they felt richer (higher housing and stock prices)

Now the problem is : assets are likely to go down. People will have to pay their debt ... they might or might not be able to do so. If not you can expect major crisis.
Or you can expect a long crisis necessary to clean up the mess in the financial and banking sector.

Anyway you see it, there's too much debt around.

The best solution would be inflate the economy and clean it through inflation ... THe problem is it's not easy to reverse 20 years of policies against inflation ...

There are real reasons for the deflation too : higher productivity. And This is good.

all in all looks like the end of a kondratiev cycle to me.
We need to pass through this recession and deflation before we find another growth period with inequalities reducing.

What will happen in the process though is probably the end of the dollar as we know it and the emergence of a new world currency. Either a fiat money from some kind of world government or may be a move back to gold standard ...
Or just unstability ...

But if you look at oil prices you'll understand dollar is already something else than it used to be. Now the OPEC countries ask for the prices to go up in dollars because they resent the dollar going down against the euro, they need euros to buy many products ... In euro the oil prices are fairly stable.

If I'm right this is only the beginning.


Posted by: DF at March 17, 2004 02:14 PM

France may be in a recession (as i have heard it is) but the US from what every economist tells me, is not in a recession anylonger. But you are very correct about deflation.

Personally, I'm in favor a move back to the gold standard. I don't believe it was wise to abandon it in the first place.

Oil prices however are unstable in dollars, less because of dollar instability (no currency is close to stable in valuation without a standard whether the standard be gold or silver) but more volatility in the US market. The US oil market is never the same. It goes up, it goes down. Ironically, if you account for inflation, gas only costs us int he us 2 more per gallon than it did 30 years ago.

If the dollars in fluctuating in relation to the euro, that would explaint he change in price of oil in dollars and lack of it in the euro. It just means that they are accounting for the exchange rate.

I don't forsee, nor would I support a world currency, anytime soon.

Posted by: skywalker at March 17, 2004 05:19 PM

Then we agree on some stuff in the end.
THe USA are not at all in a recession right now. Your economy is booming (though the way computers contribute to that growth questions the validity of the measurement of GDP) ... Anyway. France is in a mild recession right now. Hoping for growth this year.

What will happen ? God knows.

Posted by: DF at March 18, 2004 05:59 PM

Agreed on that point. It's also why I'm quite annoyed with the democrats going around saying "it's the economy stupid" when it's actually doing really well. But that also shows the economic stupidity of the average american.

Posted by: skywalker at March 18, 2004 06:28 PM

This is a funnyy joke. Democrats are dumb, republicans are cool

Posted by: jo moore at April 27, 2004 04:18 PM
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