1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than the US nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese & North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was not art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that business creates oppression and governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10.You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11.You have to believe that the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.
12.You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13.You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14.You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American History than Thomas Jefferson, Gen Robert E. Lee and Thomas Edison.
15.You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16.You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and really a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20.You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
21. You have to believe that this is part of a right-wing conspiracy.
*Muddy's Notes* To be fair the Republicans also have many problems however nobody has sent me their humorous yet true "list" yet. :-P
Posted by Muddy at April 14, 2004 04:40 PM | TrackBackLMAO! Oh how true it is. :-D Thank Mark for me next time anyone sees him. :-)
Posted by: mrs. muddy at April 14, 2004 04:53 PMOh yea, my buddy Mark sent this too me. Thanks d00d!
Posted by: muddy at April 14, 2004 05:14 PMmight be funny but not very intelligent nor respectful...
I can easily imagine the same post with how to be southern republican ...
"might be funny but not very intelligent nor respectful..."
who's trying to be intelligent or respectful towards liberals - in this case.....that's why they call it a "joke". *Someone's* got to be the "butt" of it (so to speak) in order for the joke to work. And actually, as far as the "intelligent" comment you made....actually, comming from someone like muddy and me (who are neither democrate *nor* republican) *I* personally found the remarks to be right on target - which is some of the many reasons I can't stand the democratic party. If you're a liberal, though, chances are...you may not agree.
"I can easily imagine the same post with how to be southern republican ..."
I'm sure you could and besides, if you'll read muddy's note again which states:
"To be fair the Republicans also have many problems however nobody has sent me their humorous yet true "list" yet. :-P"
Sooooo, if *you* HAVE something....email us. :-)
Posted by: mrs. muddy at April 16, 2004 07:59 AMdf: The funny thing is that not 10 years ago, it was IMPOSSIBLE to be elected in the south if you were a republican. People actually made fun f my family because we didn't vote a straight democrat ticket.
And the joke would be "How to be a good conservative." Not how to be a southern republican.
Posted by: skywalker at April 16, 2004 08:22 AM"The funny thing is that not 10 years ago, it was IMPOSSIBLE to be elected in the south if you were a republican."
Really? We up here (or maybe it's just me) always considered the south to be the "Bible belt" states (maybe it was mostly because of my family and the impression they had on me) and always thought every state south of Ohio was more conservative.
Posted by: mrs. muddy at April 16, 2004 10:34 AMThat's the funny thing: we generally are. Well, except in the city of Atlanta-The blacks in Atlanta are still convinced the democrats are helping them.
It has to do with "southern heritage." The rednecks of this state still blame the republicans "fer that dad blame civ-ill wer!" Well, at some point a generation that actually had something of an education came of age and they decided that it was a stupid reason to vote for democrats AND we started getting a HUUUUUUUGE influx of people from other states AND the republicans started campaigning differently here. It changed politics here permanently.
The rednecks and blacks STILL vote democrat. Which is halarious because the rednecks do it because they think that the democrats will get rid of all this civil rights crap (sarcasm) and the blacks do it because they think the democrats gave them the civil rights act (very much un true) and they'll increase welfare and moeny for schools which in the long run is only hurting them.
In reality, the "southern republican" really doesn't exist. In the metro-Atlanta area (not the city itself though) transplants from other states outnumber native georgians. While your younger georgia voters are oting republican, it is these transplants who really make the difference.
Remember this though: decisions are made by those who show up.
Posted by: skywalker at April 16, 2004 11:39 AM"The rednecks of this state still blame the republicans "fer that dad blame civ-ill wer!" "
LOL! That's hysterical! So my suspisions *are* true. Some southerners are *indeed* still pissed off about the "wer". Well, tell them one of those "damn yankees" said to get over it. Oh and also include..."Na-na-na-na-na...we won the waaarrr". Of course, you'll have to "sing" that to give the full effect.:-D haha.
Actually, if truth be told - in my family - *my* generation is the first to be born in the north. My family actually comes from the south. Well, West Virginia and Kentucky anyway....which I guess *weren't* "formally" with either side during the civil war....but they're southern to us.:-) Besides, from what I can remember, I think *I* have more of an accent than *you* do. :-P Go figure.
It's interresting how you mention that your state got:
"...a HUUUUUUUGE influx of people from other states AND the republicans started campaigning differently here. It changed politics here permanently."
Because I heard something in passing a few months ago about *our* state doing the same thing. Except, with us, we've gone from a majority "republican" state to teetering more on the democratic ways. Like I said, that's what I've *heard* BUT I haven't had the time nor the chance to confirm the "rumor" as of yet. I do remember when I heard this that my mind went back to 5 yrs. ago when someone else had mentioned to me that while reading in the paper they saw that in that specific year (1997-98) that the majority of people who moved here (to Ohio) from out of state actually came from California (for some stupid reason that *I'll* never figure out) so that may be the reason why. Man! I should *really* do some research on that. :-)
In any case, it'll be very interresting to see where Ohio falls in during this comming election.
Posted by: mrs. muddy at April 16, 2004 02:00 PMActually though, the rednecks who are pissed off about the war are so small a group they are basically persona non grata. Supposedly our state flag was the issue that took down our last governor, Roy Barnes - which would mean rednecks who are pissed off about the war. However, it actually had almos tnothing to do witht hat and almost everything to dow ith Roy Barnes telling the teachers of Georgia (and I think he was PARTIALLY right about this) that it was entirely there fault that our state is 49 out of 51 in education in this country.
Posted by: skywalker at April 16, 2004 04:06 PM